1. I think a strength in my second essay was probably the introduction paragraph. The hook is simple, but I really think it ties in well with the rest of the essay. “What is empathy? It’s a little more complicated than just looking up the word in a dictionary.” Like I said, it’s nothing special but I think it really fits in well with what I was going for in this paper.
  2. In my first essay my rough draft was really a rough rough draft. What I mean by that is I just wrote down anything that came to mind and then went back to the prompt later on when I revised. This led to my becoming kind of stressed out while I was writing, so for the second essay I tried not to do that. I instead read the whole prompt and went step by step making sure I didn’t become stressed if I was meeting the requirements. 
  3. I tried to back up my personal thoughts with source material instead of backing up source material with personal thoughts in this essay. I still have a lot of work to do with this, but I think it really helped with integrating sources into my essay.
  4. “Occasional boredom and the routine of college life sometimes hold me back from trying to understand others’ realities. On Mondays and Thursdays, I have 3 classes which begin at 11 in the morning and end at 5 in the evening, with an hour and half break in between my second and third classes. This schedule can lead to me being very bored and frustrated with the routine of going to class after class and then going home to eat and then eventually falling asleep. On the drive home after my last class, I’m not in a good mood, I tend to get mad at people on the road for no apparent reason.” I think my own voice really worked here becuase I was showing the reader that I am not perfect and I even have thoughts about becoming frustrated and bored with life at times.
  5. “If someone is not reliant on social media and rather uses it as an addition to human interaction, it can be a great way of connecting with people, learning more about yourself, and strengthening relationships you have already made through face to face interactions.”

“After viewing the speech multiple times and reading the transcript, I truly believe that Wallace’s idea of empathy is worth implementing into my own life because it will lead me to better understanding the world around me, as well as improving the quality of our lives.”

I wanted to challenge myself with my thesis statement in my second essay. I didn’t want a basic thesis statement that just listed out the body paragraphs that I was going to write. Instead, I wanted a thesis statement that the reader could maybe connect to. Its not the greatest thesis, but I think this being my first time trying a different style of a thesis statement I did ok.