In David Foster Wallace’s commencement speech to the graduating class of 2005 at Kenyon College he really challenges how we think. The very first thing he does is explain this story about two young fish swimming with an older fish, and the older fish asks them “how’s the water?” They respond with “what the hell is water?” This story is a metaphor for how humans live their lives, which is not really being aware of our surroundings. Humans always tend to look at the bad things in life when they aren’t in the greatest mood. For example, he gives a situation of when you see a big SUV burning through 40-gallon tanks of gas, driving terribly, and that the patriotic or religious bumper stickers seem to be on the ugliest, biggest, and most selfish cars. He says this a way not to think, rather “it’s not impossible that some of these people in SUV’s have been in horrible auto accidents in the past, and now find driving so terrifying that their therapist has all but ordered them to get a huge, heavy SUV so they can feel safe enough to drive.” (Wallace) This perspective change in someone’s life might be difficult in some situations, but I think it’s crucial if you want to live a happy life.

He ends off his speech with the same thing he began with, simple awareness. If you’re too focused on what you have to do and not having any awareness about what is going on around you, you are being very selfish. He says the “real value of a real education, which has almost nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over” (Wallace). Being aware of your surrounding is what the two young fish were missing. The same thing that they have been swimming in their whole life was something they didn’t even know what it was. The level of awareness you decide to have in life, will decide what perspective you see in different situations, which will ultimately decide the quality of life.

  1. Underline all the transitions, pointing terms, key terms, and repetitions
  2. Describe the patterns you see. Do you rely on certain devices more than others
    1. It seems to me that I used key terms a lot in these two paragraphs. Specifically with the words aware and awareness. 
  3. Locate a passage that could use better connections. REvise it using the devices introduced in this chapter. Is it easier to read now?
    1. Before: In David Foster Wallace’s commencement speech to the graduating class of 2005 at Kenyon College he really challenges how we think. The very first thing he does is explain this story about two young fish swimming with an older fish, and the older fish asks them “how’s the water?” They respond with “what the hell is water?” 
    2. After: In David Foster Wallace’s commencement speech to the graduating class of 2005 at Kenyon College he challenges the way we think on a day-to-day basis. He believes that being too self-centered is preventing us from becoming more aware of our surroundings. For instance, he tells a story about two young fish swimming with an older fish, and the older fish asks them “how’s the water?” they respond with “what the hell is water?”…
      1. I tried to incorporate a repetition sentence in the middle of two sentences I was trying to connect. I’m honestly not sure if I did right, but the passage does seem to have a little more flow.